What makes you behave like you do when facing a barrier or block? How do you navigate through it?
If you can understand why you keep hitting this brick wall, you’ll be able to navigate past it.
It’s time isn’t it? To be the person you really want to be? Understand this about fact about yourself......
We all have a need for comfort, security and/or safety. A need to know and know that we know.
We want to be in control. To know we have a place to sleep tonight, meals on the table, that our family is safe. It could be the knowing we having a job, an income or comfort. Sometimes it’s the security of family, spouse or friends who have got our back.
When we feel certain, stable or comfort we feel we are able to avoid pain and discomfort and gain pleasure.
The minute we step out of our comfort zone, doing something new, there are many unknowns - that can be very uncomfortable. It can be unstable and insecure.
Hence we self-sabotage.
Hence going from a go-getter to lazy and fearful the next.
It’s the need for certainty, it drives our actions - or inactions. We become paralysed and stuck. We all do what we need to do to get this need met.
There are unlimited ways of getting this met. It’s different for all of us. I might get it met a different way to you, or I might need more of that certainty, security or stability than you need.
This is what crops up whenever we are trying to start a new habit, or start new goals. This is what can arise to stop you.
We end up setting goals that are not really goals at all. They do not get us to our dream. They do not move us past our present condition. The reason is:
That means we are seeking certainty when we are setting goals.
We want clarity before we set goals.
If we don’t have clarity we kill the goal. If there are too many unknowns we abandon the goal.
Find a new way to get your need for certainty met, besides needing to know every step along the way.
Find a new way to feel comfortable and secure instead of looking for it in the ‘how to’ - or else it will always be a wall and barrier to you.
Alter how you get your need met for certainty.
We are in familiar territory when we are in our comfort zone. It doesn’t mean that we like being there, or that we’re happy. Some examples might be:
None of these things serve us. They keep us stuck, unable to move past the brick walls.
On the other hand...
A comfort zone might serve you greatly.
This need for comfort and stability can be met different ways. It can either drive you forward or keep you stuck - it just depends on how you’re getting the need met.
Notice how you have activities in your life and business that make you feel more certain. Personally and professionally.
When this need is not being met, when we are not feeing certain, secure, comfortable. What starts to happen?
It alters the way we go into an activity.
What happens to you when that happens?
What can you do in that moment when you feel the nerves going off to bring you back to a place of certainty and comfort?
In that moment you can either allow yourself to move forward in that discomfort - which means you’ll go racing back to the comfort zone. You go from being fearless to fearful.
Find a way when you’re facing that uncomfortable, insecure moment - to move forward.
These keys can help you continue to move forward instead of moving into this trap and going back to the old habit or way of doing things.
Notice how you’re getting your need met for certainty in that moment.
Things, people, places - what is making me feel certain. What is making me feel uncertain? Is it a person, a place, a thing? Is the feeling insecure or unstable?
What’s going on? How am I getting the need met?
Take a deeper look. Reflect.
What is driving you in this moment? Are you going take action or be paralysed?
What caused you to want to go back?
Reflect and reevaluate.
What is a new and empowering way that I can move forward?
What’s a way to handle it so that it feels great and I feel good about?
How can I find a way through so that I can go on to serve my greater good?
It’s not about suspending your need for certainty. it drives all of us so that’s not possible.
Suspend your need to get your need for certainty through the how-to. Meet it in a different way.
Don’t fight the feeling.
You can totally work out how else you can get this need met, take control of the fear and do it. Someone, somewhere is waiting for you to get really clear on the things that matter and what you’re going to do about them.
There is a higher purpose you’re living for, it’s going to take having a clear mind and deliberate actions to cause you to fly like an eagle.
I know you can do it! I believe in you.
Our mission to help you live your God-given purpose. Be inspired and thrive in this place where faith, entrepreneurship and leadership come together.
Our mission is to help you live your God-given purpose. Be inspired and thrive in this place where faith, entrepreneurship and leadership come together.